Monday, March 19, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
مأساه الشهيد 25
لم اكن اعلم انى رخيص الثمن
وجدتها بجوارى فى ابهى صوره
سألتها عن الحزن الذى ثقبها
نظرت إلى البلاسترعلى جرحى
ضحكت و قالت : انهم يفضلونك عنى
لم تعلم انه اصبح من حكاوى الماضى
عندما كان الفقير يقبلنى
تتمنى ان يلقى بها فى الماء
و تكون امنيه تعكس اشعه الشمس
كما سمعت من اولاد الفرنجه
اتمنى ان اراكى مره اخرى
نشهد معا على عشق البنات
و لفظت انفاسى الاخيره
بين يدى الطفل البرىء
الذى لم يقدر زمنى
Thursday, January 18, 2007
صاحبنا طلع مش جاى
Monday, December 11, 2006
Doritos
Warning
This is not an advertisement
again…this is not an advertisement…
I will repeat again…this is not an advertisement…ok…
so…mmm…fff…well…I want to say that I hate Doritos…what is Doritos…Doritos is something in a bag like chips with spices and cheese taste…or with sweet chilli pepper...a new theory has proven that Doritos has filled some empty holes in everyone who ate it in Egypt…to feel the air filled Doritos- bag in your hand…to hear the sound of breath escaping from the bag when you open it…when you put your hand inside the bag and feel the depth of the room to pick one triangle…to lift one triangle up in the sky directing it towards the opening of you mouth…but before it enters.. your teeth attacks the triangle and destroy it in small tiny pieces…you can hear the crunchy scream of these helpless pieces in your ears…then these pieces float desperately in the saliva of your mouth…being tortured by the punches of your tongue…before they face their unknown destination…whatever…I don’t know why every time I go to a kiosk to buy something to eat…I buy Doritos…Doritos…hum hum hum…Doritos in orange…or Doritos in blue…mmm…and the point is…my colleagues eat also Doritos…my private teacher eats Doritos…and the taxi driver eats Doritos…and the big surprise…ta ta ta taan…my grandmother eats Doritos…before we ate Cheetos…now it is Doritos…it is like koshary but for the poor… middle…and high society classes…a mid-day snack that combines the bread taste of breakfast with the grilled chicken smell of the dinner…to be short…it is the thing you can eat when you are most of the day at work or waiting for something to happen…and you are not that hungry but want to put something delicious in your mouth…hey…why is everyone eating Doritos in my college…one friend told me he believes that they have put something addictive in its taste…when one bag is finished…he goes and buys another one…I told him - same here ya tutu...ok… another one was joking by telling me that when we see the triangular shape of Doritos…we remember our pyramids…niah niah niah …very funny…a man was so afraid that one day he could wake up and could not find any Doritos left on planet earth…he could have a heart attack and die…so he decided to buy 74 boxes filled with Doritos bags and open them all to see the yellow bags bulging from the boxes…ya ragel mesh a7san men sagaier golobatra...so what…the fact is…it is not expensive…in my case…when I am lazy to cook rice or spaghetti to eat it with fried chicken…I just buy 3 bags Doritos on my way home from college…Doritos and being fat…Doritos is not healthy...Doritos and getting cancer…I do not want to hear these things…I don’t care…I want to enjoy eating something without thinking of the consequences…so why do I hate Doritos…well...I don’t know…I just hate it…maybe someone can tell me
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Angor Animi
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
catch me if you can
Yesterday a little grey mouse entered my room…I was sitting in front of the TV watching Snatch and eating nutella sandwiches when I saw him running und hiding under my bed. I am not one of those people who get a shock if they see a mouse but I do not like to sleep in the dark and wake up on a tingling sensation under my boxers and find this little mouse playing with something precious to me.
I moved slowly and closed the door of my room…put some newspapers under the door to make it impossible for him to escape…and called the housekeeper to come and help me catch this creature.
We both entered the room and tried to be quiet to hear his movements and find where he hides.
My room is a big mess where everything is not in order and it will be very difficult for both of us to see or catch him…clothes all around…books…toys…plastic bags filled with things I do not need.
It was 1 am …the housekeeper gave up and left me alone in this unpleasant situation. I went to the pharmacy to buy a mouse poison but did not find it…they told me they do not sell it now because many people use it to kill their partners or enemies…so I bought this stick rat thing.
I brought a piece of wood and put cheese in the middle of it…and then I put the glue all around the cheese and went back to my room to put this trap under the television.
I had to sleep that night on the floor of my guest room.
Next morning I entered my room to find the cheese eaten…but where is this mouse? Why didn’t he stick in the glue?
I only have found his foot steps marked on the glue…I was very angry.
I went to my college thinking all the day: how can I catch this f***ing mouse. I thought I am smarter!
Am I smarter?
Then…I had a good idea…I brought a piece of ceramic and put chicken with cheese in the middle of it (yum yum yum)… then glue all around…and then some flour to see where he hides if he did not stick to the glue.Should I buy a cat to watch tom & jerry live…or should I accept this cute new friend to live with me in peace and harmony…let’s see mighty mouse habibi…who’s gonna win.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
انتحار نمله
Sunday, July 02, 2006
عرس اكاديمى
اكاديمية جنيف المعتمدة
دعوة لصيف خالى من الحشرات
الأن بعد النجاح الكبير فى أوروبا
أقوى عروض الصيف فى مصر و الشرق الأوسط
خبراء فى إبادة جميع أنواع الحشرات و القوارض
البديل الصحى للرش و مشاكلة و أضراره
لا داعى لترك المنزل أو الخوف على الأطفال و أرفع الطعام و نقل الأشياء
مواد من الطبيعة غير سامة و ليست لها أى تأثيرات جانبية
إبادة جميع انواع الحشرات الزاحفة و الطائرة
صراصير – نمل – بق – فئران – عرس – ناموس – ذباب – أبراص
بضمان الأكاديمية مع المتابعه الدورية
كل هذا العرض بجانب النظافة الشاملة
...
كل هذا من خلال مهندسين متخصصين
...
أتصل الأن لنصلك اينما كنت بالأجهزة اللازمة
خدمة 24 ساعة
Friday, June 23, 2006
كولاته
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
كيف نبوس الواوا
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
C
Give me a hug have forgotten the taste of chicken miss you Oh la la dress of Haifaa Wahby fantastic not only the dress Armageddon coming soon Please turn the light on off do not remember if I have put x on the 5th question or not yes no no yes oh no I knew the answer exam was hard hey Sherif Volcano and earthquakes Amr Diab this summer do you think so Global warming Christ the last world war need to buy new white socks black Iran will go to Cilantro then to the Cinema Ps ps ps what is your Name yes you Good night
Sunday, April 23, 2006
MOTU
My hero is He-Man…the most powerful man in the universe…he is half earthling half eternian …and She-Ra …hmmm…and his Battlecat… and his enemy Skeletor…this was my world back in 1984…the world Eternia…I was one of the first who had these things in Egypt…and I was proud of that…all my friends came to my home to see my hero…they thought I was powerful too because I was the only one who had the real Castle Grayskull… I still have Castle Grayskull… they gave me a lot of gifts to be closer to me…and to have the opportunity to come more to my home to see the world Eternia…until one day that friend invited us to show the first screening of Masters of the Universe in Egypt…of course I was mad…because he stole the show from me…and there were always fights because of that…until one day my hero disappeared…vanished…well today I need my real living superhero…I need him so much
Friday, April 14, 2006
Successful ASKINATION trial
When I started the project ( ASKINATION )...I never thought that someone will respond...it was an anonymous creature...I was very happy...because it gave me hope that there are some creatures out there that are ready to communicate...willing to understand...yet I am not sure he did understand me...but at least he made the first contact with me...in this alienated community
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Help...a sick bird in front of my door
Hey…I am not Dr. Dolittle here…when I came today from college I found this sick bird…I do not know why the bird is sitting in front of my door…may be she has flu…and seeks medical advise…or she saw the mass destruction of her fellow birds and has depression…I do not know what to do with this bird…do I have to call the emergency and the ministry of health to come and get this bird away from my door and disinfect the whole area…then take me and make a full check up examination … or should I try it by myself…or should I wait for days and she will probably fly away…I am confused
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
KFC needs your support
Friday, March 10, 2006
عزاء واجب
رئيس مجلس الإداره وأسره شركه ايجبت طظ تتقدم بخالص العزاء و المواساه للأستاذ مجدى محمود و المهندس ذكى محمود لوفاه شقيقهما السيد الأستاذ احمد محمود المغفور له بإذن الله ، تغمد الله الفقيد بواسع رحمته و اسكنه فسيح جناته
و لد شاب يتقدم بخالص العزاء للدكتور وائل شريف فهمى فى وفاه زوج شقيقته المرحوم بإذن الله الأستاذ احمد محمد محمود و للأسره الصبر و السلوان
Thursday, March 09, 2006
الف مليون مبروك
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
ذعر فى سيتى ستارز
تم العثور على الكتكوت الشرس المفترس ( لولو كوكو واوا ) مساء الاثنين بعد تغيبه عن مركز دبر سوس محافظه كاكا، وذكرت السلطات المحليه و المخليه انها تلقت بلاغ من المواطن احمد محمد محمود عن عثوره على رأس كتكوت مهيس فى ساندويتش ماك كتاكيتو من احد محلات الوجبات السريعه فى مول سيتى ستارز و اشتباهه فى ان يكون هو الكتكوت لولو، و فور تلقى البلاغ توجهت وحدات من الشرطه و الاسعاف والمطافى الى المول و تم ابعاد جميع الزائرين الذين انتابتهم حاله من الذعر و القلق فوراكتشاف رأس الكتكوت، و كان هناك ثلاثه حالات اختناق و حالتين غيبوبه بعد تدافع العشرات محاولين الخروج من المول، و تم نقل المصابين الى اقرب مستشفى وانتزاع رأس الكتكوت من الساندويتش ونقله إلى المعامل، و اظهرت نتائج الدى ان اى الأوليه على ان الرأس فعلا للكتكوت لولو، و مازالت هناك تحريات عن كيفيه وصول الكتكوت لولوإلى محلات الوجبات السريعه فى القاهره، و تم غلق سيتى ستارز حتى يتم تطهيره بالكامل و العثورعلى بقايا جثه الكتكوت
Saturday, February 25, 2006
And I was happy
I do not know what I can do to help him…I think he had a very terrible accident and needs medical care…I think the car hit him while he was standing on the side of the road…half of his face is severely injured…he suffers…lives in pain and wishes to die…he has no family…no friends…no neighbors…no one in that world to help him…to take care of him…to love him in the last days of his life…to be a little mercy with him…the weather is very cold outside…he is very exhausted …he searched for a warm place to sleep and relax…a place to forget his pain…I found him sleeping in front of my door…in a small dark place inside an old big couch…I took some meat from my freezer…made it hot…and gave him to eat…he was shy …afraid…he looked at me…then looked to the food…he ate as if it was the first time for him…the first time to eat something after days of hunger…then I gave him water to drink...he looked at me again…he wanted to thank me…but he did not know how…his eyes said everything…he returned back to sleep…and I was happy.
PS:Actually I was just happy at that moment...but everyday I give him meat I wonder how I can help him in this country...I am sad for him... I did not want to hurt him with the flash of the camera …and I thought if I showed a clear picture of him and his fractured bloody face…it will hurt everyone...could anyone help here?