This Life ain't worth living

I want to end my life…I never thought that I will think in that manner one day…but in my last 2 years the idea that your heart is just beating and your lungs are just being filled with air and your brain is so full with a mixture of dreams, ambition , memories and questions and something is stuck inside your body that makes you act and think the way you do but can’t go out…makes the person that is supposed to be me want to pull out a gun and just fire one shot to bring this continues headache to an end.
Life is hard…we all know that…but what can you do if your life is so complicated that you are sure you can not live it anymore…what can you do if you have tried for many years to find solutions for your problems but failed…what can you do if you do not find a single person that can understand you…what can you do if you find yourself an unwelcome alien within your own society…what can you do if you know that nobody can help you in this world...
Talk to god.

dedicated to walladshab

Drawn Together

Forget South Park , forget The Simpsons , forget Sponge Bob Square Pants … this is one of the funniest and cleverest cartoon series I have ever seen…Drawn Together…imagine Big Brother but with Cartoon characters… 8 characters (Spanky Ham , Toot Braunstein , Foxxy Love ,Wooldoor Sockbat , Captain Hero , Ling Ling , Xandir and Princess Clara ) from different animation genres live together in a house with cameras to catch every moment in their lives…so we see these characters when they forget their moral values and show their real personality…the creators make jokes about reality show challenges … you will see some references to movies like Braveheart , The Lord of the Rings , Kill Bill , Titanic , the Matrix and other famous and not famous movies …you will also see some funny situations like in Survivor , The Apprentice, The real world , Super nanny…but they also talk about heavy subjects as anti – Semitism , rape, homosexuality , pre and post 9/11 , wars , abortion , sexual abuse , discrimination , violence , death and racism… in a satirical way… I never thought that cartoon could go that far… there was a scene where one of the characters wanted to have a plastic surgery in her vagina and every time the doctor makes a mistake she takes him back to the surgery room to make another vaginal transformation … so that I had to run to the toilet and vomit the food I just ate…because at the end the vagina had a mouth that could speak…and another scene where a character was so brutally killed that it was more disgusting than a killing scene in Scream … but the strange thing is that you just have to laugh … because it is so funny…so absurd…so extreme…and so unique

قائمة عبده قلقاس

ناكل شيشه

نشرب شيشه

نشايش

تعليم أى كلام ، مدارس ، جامعات ، السان متتثقفش ، متتنورش ، متعرف حقوقها متهيجِش عليا

أجوع السان ، تبص على لقمة عيشها، تقعد عمرها تدورعلى رغيف عيش ، بدل تدور حاجات تانيه

أشعلل ماتشات الكوره ،الدورى ، الكاس ، مشاكل اللعيبه ، مدربين ، جهاز فنى ، السان تتشغل باللعب

أسمع التليفونات كلها، الاقى فيها حاجه ، لما عاوز اشد ودان حد من السان

امراض كتير ، يبقى هموم كتير ، حاجه يتقرفوا بيها بعيد عنا

صور البنات معاهم ، اوضاع مش و لا بد، اسكت حد فيهم

خليهم يصوصوا فى الشارع ، كل يوم ، صوتهم يتنبح ، استرخاء

الحاجات اللى فى الكمبيوترات بتاعت كل واحد فيهم، استخدمها ، اخليهم يخرسوا خالص ، هدوء

تصدر كل الأكل النضيف بره ، حرام نديه للسان الغلابه، الواحد يكسب برضه

تلفيقات تتجهز اول باول

نخللى السان غلبانه ، نلهى بفواتير التليفونات ، أنواع المحمول الجديده ، لازم تدفع فلوس كتير ، تفضل غلبانه

كوارث كتيره ، مشاكل ، السان مش فاضيه ، عندهم بلاوى

انطلاقه ثانيه و ثالثه و إلى الابد

بكره

كمان

كله

كل حاجه

شيشه

أنا

أنا بس

هباب college أول يوم

رجعنا للهبل و العبط تانى...نفسى امسك ميكروفون و اقول للطلبه اللى لسه داخلين ياعينى و مشتاقين للكليه وحايموتوا يدخلوا المدرج و يبتدوا الدراسه و جايين من البيت أو الغيط بأنضف و أغلى و أجدد لبس عندهم... معلش يا طلاب... برضه بيئه... و مبسوطين مووت و الفرحه بتظأتط من عينيهم و من حتت تانيه برضه إن كل ده وهم خيالى ساينس فيكشن يا حبايبى يا شطار...انتم دخلتم الكليه برجليكم و ايديكم...انا طبعا ما كنش لييه نفس اروح اول يوم كليه... اصل انا بقالى نص قرن فيها و خللت خلاص بس قلت لما اروح اشوف صحابى و صحباتى عملين ايه... و بالمره اتفرج على الوجوه الجديده ... و من اول ما نزلت من البيت و دخلت الميكرويف ... قصدى الميكروبص ... جالى شلل عالطول ... السكه زحمه و الناس ريحتها مش ولا بد و و الطلبه ملزقه و معرقه و كل بت قال شايلالى مانديل فى ايدها ترطب بيها جبينها... و اول لما نزلت من الكفته بص ... لقيت نفسى فى الجيش... اصل الكليه كانت محاطه بعساكر ماعرفش ليه... كبر ...عادى عادى... و بعدين و انا ماشى فى الكليه لقيت طابور طاااووووييييل معرفش ايه ده ... عامل زى طابور الفراخ بتاعت الجمعيه قبل ما يجيلها فلونزا... صحيح ... اخبار فلونزا الطيور ايه... اكل فرخه و لا ما اكلش... اصل رمضان داخل كل سنه و انا و انت و ماما و بابا طيبيين... خلينا فى موضوعنا... المهم طلع الطابور ده مش اكل للطلاب الغلابه أو بتوع الاقاليم... طلع ان الطلاب حتموت و تدفع المصاريف... قال خلاص مافيش غير النهارده و لازم يدفعوا اللى فى جيوبهم...ده انا دفعت مصاريف ربع قرن فى يوم واحد...ما عندكم الايام الجايه و الرايحه كتير... مش ممكن تغيروا رأيكم و تطلعوا من الكليه... احلى حاجه انى شفت فى الطابور ده اول حالات نرفزه بناتى محجباتى و اول حاله اغماء طلابى من شده الزحام... ربنا يكون فى عون الطلبه و الطالبات ...و مانشوفكمش فى الايام الوحشه دى و كل عام و انتم ... و انتم ... بيخ

Strong Pubic Hair

S cried when he was born. A also cried when he was born. When S was a child he drank milk. A also drank milk when he was a child. S played with the football in his childhood. A also played with the football. S gave his friend a gift. A also gave his friend a gift. S noticed his pubic hair growing. A also noticed his pubic hair growing. S ate ice cream. A also ate ice cream. S told his friend a joke and they laughed. A laughed when he heard a joke. A finished school. A graduated from the AUC. A has a wife. A and his wife dreamed of a nice trip. A and his wife were sitting in the bus. The soldier entered the bus to check the identities and talked to A. A talked with the soldier. A was taken to S. A and S were with the soldiers. S wanted A to kiss their shoes. S ordered a soldier to rip A’s pubic hair. A was beaten although he did not do anything wrong that day. B was also beaten although he did not do anything wrong that day. A studied philosophy. B never went to school and collected garbage. A’s inhuman story was told in the media. No one knows B and no one knows that B disappeared from planet earth. A , B and S are not letters. A , B and S are unexplained stories in Egypt that have to be told to be understood.

Wow,we did it.

A question for those who did it:Please tell me one advantage of your 9/11 attacks.

Crystal Ball

If you listen to this song with your eyes closed…you will feel a melancholic wave running under your skin…and if you listen to this song with your eyes opened…you will sing with its catchy and masterful chorus…this song will take you to another atmosphere…you will remember the magic of c-c that changed the world of music…do you know what c-c is...I am sure you will.

Loosing my Religion

You do masturbate in the bathroom because the door has a locker and you have constipation.
You do not go to college with a galabeya because we wear trousers.
You do not marry with the age of 18 because you are still a kid.
You do not talk to a strange girl in a bus because you are not a psycho.
You do not work for 1 year or more after high school because you have to go immediately and automatically to a college.
You do pray in a mosque because it is Ramadan or because you have exams.
You shave your beard because you have a job interview.
You do not go to a wedding party with a t-shirt on because you are not poor.
You give this guy the job because he is a son of your friend and you will need him one day.
You do not go to another place on earth because you have been born in a place called Egypt.
You do not have two or three wives because you do not have money.
You hate Israelis because they are Jews and all Jews are bad people.
You do not vote because it is better and easier to be passive.
You do not visit your neighbor without an appointment because he may be wearing a pajama.
You do marry a virgin because you want your penis to be the first one to enter the vagina. We have made a mixture of religion and tradition that really works…at least in our country.
We are killing ourselves to show the others the mercy of Islam…and we are not mercy to each other.
We are killing ourselves to teach the others the forgiveness of Islam…and we are not forgivable.
We are killing ourselves to enlighten the others about the peace of Islam…and we do not have the pursuit for peace.
We are killing ourselves to underline the fact that we are tolerant...and we do not tolerate the others or each other.

We are using parts of our religion in a way to reach our goals.
In a country named Egypt tradition plays the main role in our lives…it is so sweet like chocolate cake…but we like to put a white cream on the top of it to make it look nice…and delicious…so you have to eat it in one bite.
We do not have to beg the others to understand Islam…because we are the broken mirror of Islam ” please understand us…please listen to us…we are not terrorists…wallahy we are not fanatics…nia nia nia…bla bla bla …hello…hey…look at us…we are good…our religion is really really good…it is wonderful…it is magic…you just have to convert to Islam and you will see…I promise…"

I am living in a country where more than 70% of its citizens are atheists…and they are on the A list of most economically developed countries…which has one of the most respectable democracies…freedom… and lack of corruption.
We just say:“ well…the day will come when they go down and one day most of them will face their awful destination”…but they are enjoying their time and we are getting more and more depressed. Are we the winners because we are struggling?

Our religion has become an obstacle rather than guidance. Our religion has become an adjective for a whole nation and not a secretive belief for individuals.
My religion has become more important for you than yours. I do not want anyone to ask me…what my religion is…because this is not your business.