EgypToz: December 2006

Friday, December 29, 2006

The Massacre

Happy first م.ج.د.ع anniversary…the Gameet El Dowal El Arabia massacre…the proof of death on this land…I think people have learnt that death anywhere else is merciful and less humiliating than here…we are selfish by nature…shame on you…we don’t like our neighbors…shame on you…we don’t want to be dirty than we already are…we like to watch and not act…we don’t like to admit that we have done something wrong...we know that we are eating donkey meat but we want to convince ourselves that we are eating shawerma…we say they are not human beings…they have a black skin and behave like animals…they had outdoor sex and we don’t want our children to see that…yak yak yakh…they slept and pissed on the beautiful flowers of our Gameet El Bool El Arabia Garden…what a pity…where are these flowers if we can not smell our awful sweat…we did not mean to kill them…we just wanted to eliminate them from this planet…because they do not deserve to live…why should they live if they don’t have a meaning in life…we don’t care if they die or even get eaten by the animals they are living with…because we are eating shawerma and not donkey meat…and nobody have told you that we are racists…hey guys…we are being killed everyday…why should we feel sorry for them if we already have a dead heart…they were the cowards who fled from the killing and tough life in Sudan…who wanted to find a peaceful place to live in…they wanted to be relocated to any other country than Sudan…they knew that if they stayed in Sudan they will be killed…but they did not know that they are going to be executed by us…that they are going to be dragged across the street…and that their women are going to be beaten…and that their newborn babies are going to be squeezed in that mess…in front of the international media…and in front of us…they deserve what have happened to them…they are all piece of shit…and had a mind of stone…they did not want to accept any other solutions…they wanted their wishes to be fullfilled…how selfish they are…they don’t only deserve to be killed…they deserve to be thrown in fire…shame on you…shame on us…shame on me…it is great that their hard death have been witnessed by us…because this is the proof that we have eaten donkey meat and not shawerma…the whole world is moving now to find an effective solution for the war in Darfur…and what are we doing…well…we are holding candles…you know they were refugees…but what you don’t know...I am a refugee too…so where should I go…

Sunday, December 24, 2006

I put off all my grief

Is it country music, is it jazz, is it rock music or indie or even folk, I think it is all of it put in a new envelope and presented with so much passion and love…the multitalented Sufjan ( singer ,writer ,painter ,graphic designer, photographer and founder of his own language which is now spoken by only 2 other people ) used his style of music to tell his stories , history and facts…with so so simple melodies that can’t come out of your mind…it has the same effect of James Blunt but maybe more experimental and classical…I could not imagine a song like a theatrical play or a film with emotional interpretations of “John Wayne” with Sufjan Stevens crying or sighing…for me it is easy now to notice his songs by his banjo playing and whispering voice…from the mystic song “A Good Man Is Hard To Find” to the more happy one “Chicago” …from the first track “Concerning The UFO Sighting Near Highland” to the lovely “Windows Of Paradise” you will take a tour de Illinois in his most acclaimed album…I don’t know if he could make his dream come true…after Illinois and Michigan…to write an album for each of the 50 states of America…today we will sing “ O Come O Come Emmanuel” and “That was the Worst Christmas Ever”... no...well there is no snow in Cairo…Merry Christmas

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

أنا لابسه بدله رقص ... و فى بيت دعاره

لما الموظف يرجع اخر النهار همدان و مش طايق نفسه و يلاقى ام العيال جياله تقوله الواد محتاج ياخد درس خصوصى و البت عاوزه شنطه جديده بدل اللى اتقطعت و جبتلك موز و برتقان و موستافاندى و كمان كيلو كوسه علشان اعملهم محشى و ايدك بقه عالفلوس...حايجيلو منين بقه شهوه علشان ينام مع مراته... يا عينى همه الشويه اللى كانوا بعد شهر العسل و الشويه اللى جاب بيهم العيال... و خلاص على كده... بيتفرج على الافلام الاجنبيه فى التالافازيون و الافلام الثقافيه عالدش و يقول الناس دول بيعملوا الحاجات دى ازاى... و يفتكر يا عين امه انه مابيعرفش و محتاجله برشام والا علاج هرمونافسى... ما طول النهار دايخ فى البلد و جاله يييه ميت مره اكتئاب... الضغط يا بيه... الضغط و السكر هوه اللى مضيعنا... ما مالظروف الاقتصاديه و السياسيه اللى فى البلد... مش شايف البلد بقت عامله ازاى... يجيلى انا نفس منين بقه... الست تقول لك ده الراجل بييجى مالشغل عالسرير طوالى... مش عالشانى السيكو سيكو ... ده عالشان ينام... و كل يوم بالنظام ده...دى بقت عيشه تقرف... طب بص بس على كرشه و انت تعرف كل حاجه... تسأل الراجل فينك يا روميو... فين الرومانتيكا... يقوللك هوه انا حيلتى اللضه... طب فين بتوع ميلودى... ده لما بصحى من النوم على وش الست اللى جنبى بشعرها اللى عامل زى سلك المواعين و جسمها اللى بقه عامل زى جبال الهيمالايا بس من غير تضاريس بيجيلى خضه و اقول انتى مين... انتى مين... دانا مراتك يا معلم... مش عارف كنت شارب ايه لما اتجوزت البتاعه ده... يعنى استخدمه ازاى ده دالوقتى... يعنى اسفر العيال عند ام امهم علشان يخلالنا الجو... وا روح افسح ام العيال عالكرنيش و اكلها دره و جيلاتى...اجى اقوللها ياللا بينا بقه عالبيت ورانا شغل... تقوللك ورانا ايه...ورانا ايه... الجو ادام النيل هنا احسن يا محسن... و لما الوقت ياخدهم و يتأخروا و يرجعوا بسرعه عالبيت قبل ما تيته تجيب العيال... ياخدها تيك اواى تقول له ماينفعش السيستم ده معايه... انا محتاجه لسه... يقوللها محتاجه ايه يا وليه... ما خلاص... تقول له خلاص ايه يا محسن... دول ماكملوش دقيقه... زمان كنت خمسه... دالوقتى بقيت دقيقه... فينك يا محسن... ليه كده يا محسن... يقوم يقول لها هومه دول اللى عندى... عاجبيك و لا اطلقك... تقول له...لا... إلا الطلاق...تهون عليك العشره... تسمع ماما ماما... يقوللها يلا فزى قومى شوفى العيال... طب لو تو كابلز عايشين فى اوضه متر فى متر... و جابولهم عيال و مش عارفين يسرفوهم... يا ترى يعملوا ايه... انا باقترح يخدوا داى اوف سويت فى موفينبيك الهرم علشان ما فيش حد مالعيال يعرف هوه حصل ايه و لا فيه ايه... او يقولوا للعيال روحوا جيبوا شوكولاته من المحل اللى بعيد بعيد ده... بس الواد سيد مش عاوز يمشى مالبيت... يا واد امشى... بطل رخامه ياض... امشى بقه لاحسن اخللى ابوك يضربك... يقوم يعمل نفسه ماشى و يستخبى فى بير السلم... بعد شويه يسمع صوت امه بتصوت... يجرى جرى و يروح داخل الاوضه فجأه و يقول مالك يا امه

Sunday, December 17, 2006

التطور الطبيعى للحاجه الساقعه

تعتبر اللغة العربية من أجمل لغات العالم ، و لكن فى الفتره الأخيره حدث تغير ملحوظ فى استخدام المرء لهذه اللغة الجميلة ، ليس فقط فى الكتابة و إنما ايضا فى الحياة الفكرية و الثقافية و السياسية ، و هذا التغير اثر بالطبع فى الشعر العربى ، و لن انسى سنوات المدرسة التى تعلمت فيها قواعد هذه اللغة و لاسيما النحو ، و لكن يبدو أن النحو ليس له موقع للاعراب فى يومنا هذا ، فالفتحه و الكسره و الضمه توفوا، بدون ان نحزن ، و الشده هى الاخرى ، و كما يلاحظ تغير فى استخدام اللغة العربية من اجل التواصل و التحاور، يلاحظ ايضا استخدام مفردات جديده فى زمن العولمه ، نوت اونلى فى مصر ، و لكن فى بلاد عربية آخرى ، و عندما بدأت فى الكتابة فى هذا البلوج ، كنت أفكر أن اكتب فيها باللغة العربية الفصحى ، بوت وجدت انها سوف تكون تقيله شويه عالقلب و بيئه ، و بعدين كده ولا كده الكلام اللى بقه الشباب بيقولوه لبعض بقه كلام مش مفهوم خالص وانا مدام واد شاب منهم... خلاص بقه كبر ، و الموضه الجديده إن الشباب الكوول دول عملوا لنفسهم انسيكولوبيديا الكلام الروش طحن ، فشخوا اللغه بتاعتهم ، بس لازم ناخد بالنا يا جماعه إن التطور اللى حصل ده خطير مووت على اللغه الاساسيه بتاعتنا ، قصدى اللى كانت بتاعتنا ، آه قصدى بالالف مش بالقاف ، و لو فضلنا كل شويه نغير فى الكلامص اللى اينا بينيستاخدامه ، هانليكا اينا احينا موشى فخمونى بعض بنا كوكو كيك ، فتت ستا حاحه ، اكد اكد شش فهمومى حاحه ، احيك بجد احيك ، فيك يابنو امك مالها ، فشخ

Saturday, December 16, 2006

An Egyptian Film

Dawlat woke up at 8:00…Dawlat has to be in the college at 8:15…there is no time to make breakfast…Dawlat gave her son money to buy biscuits when he is in school…in the elevator Dawlat met her neighbor but they didn’t exchange words…in her Fiat 128 car Dawlat ate chips and threw the bag from the window…the chips bag fell in the middle of the street…the street cleaner moved the chips bag with the broom to the traffic lamp…her son bought a kidney sandwich…the street cleaner stood under the traffic lamp waiting for tips…the black Mercedes car stopped...her son did not go to school…someone threw 10 pounds from an almost closed black window…Dawlat came late to the lesson after spending half an hour searching for a parking place…her husband woke up at 10:00… her son then finished the cigarette and threw it…the street cleaner picked up the 10 pounds from the ground…Dawlat wrote a question on the board and asked her students to answer it…as usual her husband is alone in the house…her son was playing football with his friends in the street…her husband was full of sweat after being squeezed for an hour in the public bus…the question is : how can we prevent pollution in Cairo?…the hotel manager told her husband to prepare the food quickly for the foreigners…her son saw the black Mercedes car…Dawlat went to the college cafeteria to drink coffee and read the newspapers…her husband had no time to wash the salad and brought the food to the foreigners…her son played with the Mercedes sign and broke it… Dawlat collected the written answers from the students…Dawlat was not in good mood to give a lesson today...she smiled to the husband…the husband smiled back…her son scratched the black Mercedes car with the key…the owner of the black Mercedes saw her son…her son ran from him…the owner of the black Mercedes saw her son lying in the middle of the street crying…after the work the husband went with her to their room in the hotel…on her way home Dawlat gave the street cleaner the written answers…people searched for the car that hit him…the neighbor saw people carrying her son to the hospital…people asked the neighbor if he could call Dawlat…the neighbor did not know the number…the street cleaner was angry because Dawlat did not give him money…Dawlat did not find her son in the house… Dawlat did not find her neighbor…Dawlat went to the school but it was closed…her husband did not find anyone in the house…he was tired so he slept…the foreigners had to be carried to the hospital…the neighbor went to the house and told her husband about his son…her husband told Dawlat that he is going to the hospital…her husband found his son in the section for food poisoning…the foreigners were also in the same room…the husband saw her…Dawlat ran to her son crying…the foreigners told the doctor that the husband made the food…the doctor told her that she has aids…she told Dawlat that she slept with her husband.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Doritos

Warning
This is not an advertisement
again…this is not an advertisement…
I will repeat again…this is not an advertisement…ok…
so…mmm…fff…well…I want to say that I hate Doritos…what is Doritos…Doritos is something in a bag like chips with spices and cheese taste…or with sweet chilli pepper...a new theory has proven that Doritos has filled some empty holes in everyone who ate it in Egypt…to feel the air filled Doritos- bag in your hand…to hear the sound of breath escaping from the bag when you open it…when you put your hand inside the bag and feel the depth of the room to pick one triangle…to lift one triangle up in the sky directing it towards the opening of you mouth…but before it enters.. your teeth attacks the triangle and destroy it in small tiny pieces…you can hear the crunchy scream of these helpless pieces in your ears…then these pieces float desperately in the saliva of your mouth…being tortured by the punches of your tongue…before they face their unknown destination…whatever…I don’t know why every time I go to a kiosk to buy something to eat…I buy Doritos…Doritos…hum hum hum…Doritos in orange…or Doritos in blue…mmm…and the point is…my colleagues eat also Doritos…my private teacher eats Doritos…and the taxi driver eats Doritos…and the big surprise…ta ta ta taan…my grandmother eats Doritos…before we ate Cheetos…now it is Doritos…it is like koshary but for the poor… middle…and high society classes…a mid-day snack that combines the bread taste of breakfast with the grilled chicken smell of the dinner…to be short…it is the thing you can eat when you are most of the day at work or waiting for something to happen…and you are not that hungry but want to put something delicious in your mouth…hey…why is everyone eating Doritos in my college…one friend told me he believes that they have put something addictive in its taste…when one bag is finished…he goes and buys another one…I told him - same here ya tutu...ok… another one was joking by telling me that when we see the triangular shape of Doritos…we remember our pyramids…niah niah niah …very funny…a man was so afraid that one day he could wake up and could not find any Doritos left on planet earth…he could have a heart attack and die…so he decided to buy 74 boxes filled with Doritos bags and open them all to see the yellow bags bulging from the boxes…ya ragel mesh a7san men sagaier golobatra...so what…the fact is…it is not expensive…in my case…when I am lazy to cook rice or spaghetti to eat it with fried chicken…I just buy 3 bags Doritos on my way home from college…Doritos and being fat…Doritos is not healthy...Doritos and getting cancer…I do not want to hear these things…I don’t care…I want to enjoy eating something without thinking of the consequences…so why do I hate Doritos…well...I don’t know…I just hate it…maybe someone can tell me

Sunday, December 10, 2006

hUMAN rIGHTS dAY

Everyone in this country should have this booklet…everyone should know his rights…this is not just the start…this is one of his rights .

Friday, December 08, 2006

The Man & The Bridge

I have seen him years sitting at the same spot and painting strange complex pictures.
No doubt this man is famous and has a secret…a very rich man living in a very poor condition.
Hi - I said
He shook my hand warmly
Can I talk with you?- I said
He moved his hands aggressively telling me to go away
Why not?- I asked him
He wrote on a white paper in English –I don’t make interviews now, maybe in 3 hours.
I told him that I come from a far place just to chat with him
He gave me the white paper to write that question down
I was confused, did he understand me or did he not
Can he speak, can he hear…I don’t know

I wrote: I want to see your paintings
He wrote: I don’t show my paintings
I wrote: why not?
He wrote: where do you come from?
I lied and wrote: I am from France.
When he read that he smiled, looked provoked to me and brought a big book with mysterious signs and numbers…I saw the countries of the globe listed and each country has a specific number...he pointed at the word France which had the number 10…I don’t know what that means but I am sure it is not something good…
He wrote: I don’t speak with people from France because of political disagreements.
Then he brought another book he has written and copied the phrase-thank you for your visit , please go away –in French
I opened my wallet to show him my Egyptian identity … to prove to him that I have the Egyptian citizenship but he wrote: please come after 3 hours
I wrote: I can’t come again

He brought a small mattress and put it on the street to make it more comfortable for me to sit
I said: thank you
I did not know if I had to speak in Arabic or in English
Then he opened a box full of chocolate, jelly cola and bonbons
He gave them all to me…I refused to take them … I told him thank you thank you…but he insisted to give it to me

Suddenly he ordered me to go away because he wanted to eat…I saw him cocking fried chicken balls…I don’t know how he made that…I showed the camera to ask if I can take a picture of him…he was angry…he was really really angry…at that point I was angry too and walked down the bridge…he followed me